I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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