He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
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I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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