im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Farmville is her only friend.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
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you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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