Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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