woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
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We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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