you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
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WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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