I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Congratulations! We have a period
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize