Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I party with great urgency now.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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