note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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