I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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