I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize