I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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