I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize