3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
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What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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