We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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