$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
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my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
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Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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