thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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