just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize