Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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