I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
two words: eviction party
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
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i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize