Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize