Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
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My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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