Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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