The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
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i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
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they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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