We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
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She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
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We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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