Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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