She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
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I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
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If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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