I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize