Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize