i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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