At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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