luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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