Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
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My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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