So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
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My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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