It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize