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the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Barsexuality is the new black.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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