Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air

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(610): the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air http://tfl.nu/jv3m

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(718): View more from New York

Barsexuality is the new black.

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(718): Barsexuality is the new black. http://tfl.nu/lc2j

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(432): View more from Texas

ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...

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(432): ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today... http://tfl.nu/2fwj

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(561): View more from Florida

We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.

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(561): We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night. http://tfl.nu/gp7p

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?

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(781): I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I? http://tfl.nu/0o9s

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(404): View more from Georgia

Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.

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(404): Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center. http://tfl.nu/it0q

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.

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(615): Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again. http://tfl.nu/rwfi

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(817): View more from Texas

did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?

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(817): did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER? http://tfl.nu/7lnp

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.

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(601): Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog. http://tfl.nu/t7wp

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(310): View more from California

OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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(310): OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS? http://tfl.nu/ewib

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.

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(843): I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest. http://tfl.nu/0b74

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(904): View more from Florida

I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded

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(904): I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded http://tfl.nu/240k

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom

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(402): Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom http://tfl.nu/4fn6

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job

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(732): Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job http://tfl.nu/u9q1

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(915): View more from Texas

The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced

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(915): The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced http://tfl.nu/afn4

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