last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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