Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
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She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
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He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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