i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize