Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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