I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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