So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize