I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
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I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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