TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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