No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
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Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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