he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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