Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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