my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
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Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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