there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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