Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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